South American Women (so far)

1. Uruguay
2. Argentina
3. Chile

I have only been to three countries, and I've heard many things about the women in Columbia and Brasil, too, so maybe this list will change, but for now this is how it stands in my eyes (which may not be important to anyone except me). I will be in Brasil soon, so I'll get a chance to do update this in a few months (First published in March 2011).

Look, let's not fight over the sexism of this post. Yes, I know, some of you may be appalled by such a list: one that degrades women as sex objects at the top of the list or degrades women by valuing them only by looks at the bottom. I could not agree more that it is not the most appropriate way to express things. However, I'm not very scientific (I loathed biology in school, for instance), not very good-looking myself (short, bald, and with a bit of a belly), and don't really care what people think. I am a man, and like most men, I like to look at beautiful women. I'm not out trying to have sex with everyone beautiful woman I meet, but I tend to smile more when I'm taking a walk and there are loads of beautiful women on the street. In short, as most men do, I tend to notice when I am around lots of beautiful women, so this is about that.

This is also not so much of a ranking as it is an observation, of mine entirely, of where the gorgeous women in South America tend to live. I have heard so much about the Latin woman and how certain countries seem to have better water, so to speak, than other countries. To be fair, as previously noted, I have only yet been to the countries listed above, so this list may expand as time goes on. Actually, it will expand because I will be travelling more in the coming years.

Now on to the list:

A Presidential Guard at La Moneda

It is true that Chile has some beautiful women, but beyond that tasty upper crust things drop off considerably when one digs into the meat of things. This makes the gorgeous woman in Chile incredibly desirable and highly sought after, thus taking her off the market as soon as she comes off it, which may actually be never. Otherwise, one's options are limited to the incredibly loyal and friendly middle and lower classes. Of course, if you are a man who craves the perfect wife, then maybe Chile is the place for you. I admit wholeheartedly that the Chilean women I know have impressed me as women more than most places I have been to; they're real people down here and really know how to live life well. But if you're not looking for that, then your desires are best found elsewhere. The lone exception to this, however, is the forever popular fetish men have here with the female Carabinero. Seriously, even the ugly ones are stunning!

In Argentina, they make one go, "Wait, what?"

Now, I may be shot for not putting the Argentinean woman on top - and to be clear, I'd never say no to that - because they are every bit as gorgeous and stylish as any woman on earth. To walk through the streets of Buenos Aires, or Mendoza, or Bariloche and not walk home without a kink in one's neck is nearly impossible. Sensual doesn't even begin to describe the sexual flirtation that begins when she dresses in the morning and ends when she undresses at night. Merely walking in public is enough to drive any man crazy, but herein lies the problem: they are beautiful and they know it. To start a conversation with an Argentinean woman is easy, mainly because she makes it easy to want to, but to finish takes years and requires a competitive spirit among men that often seems downright unfair (yes, I'm bald and according to my lady friends, the Argentine men are damn good looking, too). I am not one of those men who likes to compete in such a fashion, so the Argentinean woman may seduce me but she'll hurt me before I ever get off the ground...or better yet, before I even fall.

The women of Uruguay are dreamy

Uruguay is a country of small towns and big dreams. Its coast is white with sand and its country green with farms. The blend of Portuguese from the north, Italian from the south, and Spanish the land over give it the perfect mix of culture and desire, and the women add in the wonderful ingredient of simplicity. Like their gorgeous neighbors to the south, they are well-versed in Italian styles, but unlike their southern counterparts they have a small town attitude about them. They want to have fun and they know how to outwork their man when necessary. No pouting for the door to be held open, only smiles and graciousness instead. Yes, the Argentine woman is generally physically prettier (but only slightly so), but the Uruguayan woman knows how to treat her man, and to me, that is more desirable than overburdening expectations.